There is a definite gap in the information and education offered to parents-to-be about sex. Despite several research papers encouraging post birth sex education as part of ante natal classes and calls for health professionals to be more empathetic and prepared to discuss sexual issues with parents after the birth of a child, there has been little done to bridge the gap. What is available on the internet is enough to terrify the hardiest of couples. In terms of what is available in mainstream or alternate literaute, you would have to purchase nurmerous books to have every area of the post birth sex experience covered. This is where Reclaim comes into its own.
Most couples find that the expectations they have of sex after birth, rarely lives up to what they really experience. To make matters worse, talking about sex once you are a parent seems to be taboo.
There is guilt if you are having:
◦ no sex
◦ painful sex
◦ unfulfilling sex
◦ sex out of service
◦ or if you are having great sex and loving it
A recent study found that around half of parents with an eight month olf baby described their sex lives as being:
◦ Not very good
Parenting books ignore or gloss over sex after birth. Relationship and sex books will advise you to get back to it as soon as possible or pretend that having a baby does not change the sexual dynamics in a relationship. Information available on the internet is shallow and often focused on fixing the ‘mechanics’ in the short term. There is little written in one place about:
◦ the changes in a woman’s body, her hormones and identity after giving birth
◦ the shifts in power and feelings within a relationship once a baby is added
◦ the real reasons behind lowered desire for sex for both men and women
◦ how communication and belief systems can impact on love and intimacy.
Reclaiming Sex After Childbirth gives couples an opportunity to educate themselves before birth on what to expect after birth:
and how this may impact on a their relationship and sex life.
For those already in the sex drought of parenthood, Reclaiming Sex After Childbirth provides information and wisdom on:
◦ why there is a reduced desire for sex
◦ expectations and beliefs about intimacy
◦ changes in a woman’s identity after birth
◦ how to communicate more effectively
◦ why physical touch is such a mine field
As well as practical suggestions for:
◦ nurturing and supporting each other after birth and in the early years of parenting.
◦ reconnecting as a couple given the contraints of parenthood, especially where there is no extended family to help out.
I hope that Reclaim Sex After ChildBirth prepares you for life after birth if you are parents to be, or provides you with some answers, if you are already parents.